On the Fourth Commandment: Honoring Father and Mother

THE HOLY FAMILY: MODEL OF CHRISTIAN FAMILY LIFE.
Image from catholictradition.org via google.com

After God himself, we are directed to give due honor to and respect our parents and everyone else whom God has vested with his authority, not only parents. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states,

The fourth commandment opens the second tablet of the Decalogue. It shows us the order of charity. God has willed that, after him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God. We are obliged to honor and respect all those whom God, for our good, has vested with his authority [2197].

Of the Ten Commandments, it is the only other commandment which is stated in the positive, that is, it has the positive obligation of being fulfilled, aside from the Third which is about keeping the holiness of the Lord's day. Being a positive law, it also automatically prohibits everything that would negate it. In contrast, the other Commandments are mere prohibitions, which for the ordinary compliant would mean just that: prohibitions without attempting to fulfill the corresponding positive obligation at all. For example, the Commandment about respect for the sanctity of life, which is You shall not kill: It prohibits killing but positively, it aims to promote life so one has to do everything not just to avoid killing but also to promote, defend and advance the cause of life which in effect rejects the ideas of abortion, contraception, euthanasia, same-sex marriage, masturbation, even unjust wars, etc. 

Though it is directed to children, this commandment also presupposes duties of parents and all those who are, through their particular roles and responsibilities in life and society, act with authority over others such as teachers, leaders, magistrates, and others [2199]. For as the Apostle Paul wrote, parents should not embitter their children for they might be discouraged instead children should be brought up in the knowledge of God and His commandments [see Colossians 3:21; Ephesians 6:4].

We can also notice that of all the Commandments, only this one has a promise: that your days may be long in the land which the LORD your God gives you [see Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 5:16; Ephesians 6: 2-3]; CCC 2200]. and the Catechism adds, [r]especting this commandment provides, along with spiritual fruits, temporal fruits of peace and prosperity. Conversely, failure to observe it brings great harm to communities and to individuals [2200]. We could clearly see the effects in our society when this Commandment is not fulfilled, both by parents and children, or persons in authority and subordinates, for big troubles happen in the community.

From the beginning, as the Lord Jesus Christ himself said to the Jewish leaders, God has created male and female and when they got married, they become just one flesh, therefore one being, and their primary obligation was to love one another and establish a family, a primordial institution which existed before any public authority. Each member of the family has respective rights and privileges due to their equality in dignity and corresponding duties and obligations which are for the good of the institution [2201-2203].

From these follow important matters regarding the sanctity of the family and its rights over that of any public authority. The society at large is actually an extension of what the family should be, a loving, serving and protecting institution. Parents have the obligations to provide for and protect their children; public authorities have the same duties toward the citizens. Children have the obligation to obey their parents; citizens have that duty toward the government and the public servants in authority. When parents fail to do their duties toward their children, children suffer and even become rebellious. When public authorities fail to serve their citizenry, citizens rebel and even overthrow governments. When children fail to obey their parents, they fail to learn what they need to know when they themselves become parents already. When citizens disobey legally instituted and morally upright leaders, the society is plunged into anarchy and chaos.

When these things happen, we ultimately disobey and disrespect God who is the Father of us all and the one who has established the family in order for us to have a long life in the land that He provides and ultimately live with Him forever in his kingdom. 

For God did not command us to honor our father and our mother just for the sake of honoring them. As we have said above, it is the Commandment with a promise. And that promise could only be fulfilled if we obey the command. It's just like the Lord's command for us to love one another which will make us known to the world as His followers and friends and so move others to believe in Him and we could lead more people into the One Fold.

To honor our father and our mother is also to honor God the Father and the Holy Mother Church. For God is Father of us all and the Church is the mother who keeps us from the errors of the times. The Father has created us, the Church keeps us alive through the Sacraments which the Lord Jesus Christ has left to sustain our pilgrimage along the road to salvation. 

May we always honor our father and our mother and the many fathers and mothers in our lives that we may taste the fruit of the promise: long life in the land which God provides us.